We Are
by DarkElements10
Summary: Kendall, James, Carlos, and Logan decide to end Big Time Rush. [Set after Big Time Dreams] [OCs Included]
1. Theres Nothing Wrong With Taking Chances

**We Are**

**Summary-**Kendall, James, Carlos, and Logan decide to end Big Time Rush. [Set after Big Time Dreams]

* * *

**There's Nothing Wrong With Taking Chances:**

**Kendall**

Kendall stared down at the letter in his hands. His hands shook as his eyes darted back and forth across the paper reading it for the tenth time.

_Dear Mr. Kendall Knight,_

_We are pleased to be able to invite you to attend a training camp for the Minnesota Magicians held at Richfield, Minnesota to be eligible to take part as a member of the junior hockey team as part of the American Hockey League._

_The Minnesota Magicians assessment will take place at:_

_Venue: Richfield Ice Arena in Richfield, MI_

_Date: Tuesday, October 8, 2013_

_Young players with potential have been invited to attend this assessment opportunity. Remember that junior hockey is for young men between 16 and 20 years old. This means that some of these roster spots will be filled quickly be returning veterans in their second or third year of juniors._

_The American Hockey League is one of the many junior leagues which serve to train and develop the skills of the young hockey players who wish to pursue careers in the National Hockey League (NHL). __The 2013 Calder Cup Playoff Finals will take place June 8th-18th in Syracuse, New York, with regular season running from October to mid-April. _

_Registration form for the camp is attached. In order to participate in the camp you MUST register. The assessment session(s) are free of charge._

He folded the letter carefully and tucked it into the pocket of his flannel shirt before leaning forward, resting his elbows on his knees, putting his hands in his chin. He couldn't believe he had been accepted into the assessment round at all. The last time he thought he would've had a chance was when the St. Paul All Stars had wanted him to try out for the team.

That was almost three years ago, back when he thought his music career was a bust. He was all set for living a life filled with nothing but hockey, just like he had originally set out to do, but the minute he had gotten word that Gustavo had managed to scrape up enough money to buy the rights to Big Time Rush back from Griffin, he knew he was being given a second chance and the he should take it. He had said it himself, "opportunities like that only come once in a life time." So did second chances.

He had sent out the letter for the league o keep him in mind just as a safety net, just in case things didn't work out well. Three albums, and a Tween Choice Award later, and he could say that things turned out great. He had a girlfriend whom he loved very much—enough to move into an apartment with—his mom had a solid career as the band's manager, his sister, Katie had a boyfriend and was enjoying her time out in LA, and he still had the same friends he started out with, and had made more along the way.

He couldn't be happier.

At the same time, he couldn't be more worried.

Hockey had always been his dream, and his passion, but over time, music had become that as well. It was something he could do while he waited for his life to return to normal. Only, now this ended up being normal for him. He couldn't imagine a day where he didn't wake up in sunny Los Angeles and wonder what new songs they would be tackling that day, or what dance moves he'd struggle with, or what crazy antics he and his friends would get into.

Now, his past dream was coming to meet him and he knew that this was one of the last few chances he had at making it into the NHL. If he didn't take it this year, he had one more year left, and even then, there'd be more second and third year veterans that had a better shot at making the team then he did. It was very rare for any hockey playing hopeful to make it into the NHL without attending a camp or participating in the juniors.

He had to make a choice: Big Time Rush or his big time dream.

"For as long as I've known you, I don't think you've ever been this quiet, Hockey-Head," an Australian voice reached his ears, light with amusement. Kendall shifted his green eyes towards his girlfriend, Riley Jackson-McGuire. She was leaning in the doorway for their room, arms crossed over her chest, ankles crossed, red streaked black hair hanging down to her shoulders. He was still getting used to seeing her hair down rather than, what he considered, her trademark pig tails. "I mean, apart from when Gustavo wrote that _Rainbow of Love _song."

"Very funny, Ruby," Kendall replied, using his nickname for her. He then held his hand out towards her and she pushed off the door frame taking his hand. He pulled her onto his lap before reaching for his flannel pocket and handed her the letter.

"What's this?" she asked.

"Read it," Kendall replied. Riley looped an arm around his shoulders and he turned his head to kiss her wrist before she unfolded the letter and started to silently read it. He watched as curiosity, surprise, wonder, excitement, then worry flashed through her yes like a slot machine before she looked at him. "Mhm."

"Kendall, mate, this is amazing," Riley said, a smile coming to her face before she bent her head to kiss him. She pulled back, but Kendall looped an arm around her waist, kissing her back. Her eyes flashed mischievously as she pulled back. "So was that."

Kendall's lips angled upwards into a smirk before he ran a hand over his face. "Yeahhh, but I don't know what I'm going to do," he replied, suddenly sounding tired. "This is one of the last shots, if not _the_ last shot I have at this. I mean, I turn 19 just a few days before the camp starts…but, this is James's dream."

"You've been out here for four years now, you've released three albums, and you've won a Tween Choice Award," Riley said to him, "I think James may have lived his dream by now." She pressed her forehead against his. "Besides, you know him, he's always wanted a solo career."

"Carlos and Logan?" Kendall asked.

"Doctor," Riley said and Kendall nodded his head, "and…super hero?"

"Actually, lately, he's been talking about being a stunt man or a spy, or whatever," Kendall said, his eyes narrowing slightly before he pursed his lips. "All it's doing is giving Steph a heart attack. That'd really give him a reason for needing the hockey helmet." Riley let out a laugh and Kendall smiled at the noise.

"So, you see?" Riley asked, reaching a hand up to adjust the beanie on his head. "They'll be fine. The question is, what about us?" Kendall's smile faded.

She had just gotten back into the studio after taking a year off with her music, and in that time they had grown closer than he could've ever imagined. They were not just boyfriend and girlfriend but they were best friends, well he was his best girl friend, anyway. James made it a point to remind him of that, complete with his creepy, unblinking stare. Kendall made sure not to make that mistake more than once.

"What about us?" he repeated, his voice cracking slightly.

"Kendall," Riley said and she instantly had his attention, much like she always did whenever she called him by his first name. "You know I want you to be able to do anything you want to. I know hockey has always been your dream, you talk about it enough." Kendall's lips curled up into a half smile."We've been through so much and I still can't get rid of you."

"You're just not trying hard enough," Kendall joked, a dimple appearing in his cheek as he laughed. Riley put a hand to his forehead, pushing his head back.

"Shut up, Kendork," she said with a roll of her eyes before continuing her thought. She slid a hand up his back and used her nails to scratch at the back of his neck, sending shivers down his spine. Kendall groaned as he closed his eyes. "What makes you think something like this will?"

Kendall stayed silent for a long moment before wrapping his arms around her, pulling her into his chest, laying back down onto their bed. Riley let out a shriek of surprise before snuggling into his side, resting her head down onto his chest.

"Look on the bright side," she commented, and Kendall angled his head to see a hint of a teasing smile on her face. "At least you'll finally stop sticking out like a sore thumb with all the beanies and flannel you wear around here." Kendall's chest shook with a silent chuckle. "Maybe you'll leave one behind for me? Preferably a green one?"

Kendall slowly let out a breath of air through his nose. He reached up a hand and slid his fingers through her silky, raven hair. "Of course," he replied. His chest swelled as he sucked in a deep breath of air before he let it out. "I just can't believe I'm going to do this. It's been my dream for so long."

"Well then, you should grab onto that dream with both hands, and go big time," Riley replied. A thoughtful look crossed her face. "Or at least, that's what I think someone like you would say."

Kendall gave a short laugh. _How am I going to tell them?_

* * *

**A/N: **I started writing this out as a one-shot, and then I remembered it was going to be a short fic. Anyway, I've really been thinking about how this was going to go for a while, listening to _We Are_ on repeat. This is a five-part short fic.

-Rhuben


	2. We Put it on the Line

**We Put It on the Line:**

**James**

"Moments, we gotta keep on living for these moments," James sang along to the music that blasted into his ear through his Ipod headphones as he carried a set of dumbbells back onto the rack of the Palm Woods gym. He used his arm to wipe the sweat off his forehead before adjusting the gloves on his hands.

"Come on," Patrick Jackson-McGuire said, stepping up beside James to clap him on the shoulder. "Shake it out. We've got two more sets to do." He stretched his arms across his chest before rolling his shoulders. "That crap you call music isn't helping you keep up your speed, either."

"Ha ha," James said with a roll of his eye as Patrick stuck his tongue out between his teeth. James lifted a hand to scratch his bare chest before walking over to a bench. He pulled up his pants before sitting down onto the bench, laying back, lifting his hands up to reach the barbell that sat above him.

"Just playin' with ya, mate," Patrick replied, checking to see if the weights were secured before tapping James's hands. "You know I think your music is ace." James let out a breath of air before pushing the barbell up into the air before lowering it to his chest, preceding to bench press the weights.

_One. Two. Three. Four. _James counted to himself, staring up at the ceiling as he continued his reps. His muscles started to weaken and his chest muscles started to get tight. The barbell shifted one way, and then the other. He paused, holding the weight above his head, shifting his grip. He let out a breath of air before continuing his last few reps.

"Good," Patrick said, helping James put the barbell back onto the rack. James closed his eyes, dropping his hands to his chest. "Can I ask you something, dude?" James nodded his head, eyes still closed. "Why've you been listening to that gosh forsaken song on repeat for the last half hour?" Patrick planted his hands on his hips. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying hearing my dulcet tones comes from your Ipod."

James laughed, blinking open his eyes. _We Are _was one of the leading singles for Big Time Rush's third album, 24/Seven. They had created two versions of the song, one featuring Patrick and his brothers and sisters' band, the DarkElements, and one without. He found himself to be listening to the song a lot lately.

"Can I ask you something?" James asked, stretching his arms above his head before folding his hands onto his stomach.

"Sure, mate," Patrick replied with a shrug before stepping around the bench. He headed over to their bags and grabbed a water bottle and a towel. He draped the towel around his shoulders before reaching into James's bag, getting his water bottle. Patrick held it out towards his friend. "What's going on?"

"I've just been thinking lately," James replied, sitting up, giving a nod of his head as he took the water bottle from his friend.

"Don't hurt yourself," Patrick joked, giving his famous lopsided grin before tilting his head back, squirting a long stream of water into his mouth. He snapped his jaws shut, his cheeks bulging from the water he held in his mouth.

James tilted his head back, doing the same, squirting water into his mouth. He swished the cool beverage back and forth, peering into the mirror that sat across from him, before swallowing. His face was bright red, and his hair, which was normally straight and immaculate stuck up in different directions, damp with sweat.

"You think I could make it going solo?" James asked. Patrick's eyebrows shot up as he wrapped his lips around his water bottle, his Adam's apple bobbing repeatedly as he swallowed.

"You think you could make it going solo?" Patrick replied, breathing heavily after drinking so much water. He used the palm of his hand to slap the top of his water bottle, closing it. "That's what's most important, if ya ask me."

"Well, I'm asking," James said, spinning so he was sitting on the bench, facing Patrick, "'cause I know that your label has been thinking about doing solo CDs with you guys."

Patrick closed an eye, lifting a hand, tilting it back and forth. "It's not really the same thing," he said, dropping his arm back down to his side, his palm slapping against his leg. "Yeah, our label wants us to do solo albums, a duet for No and I, but it's kind of a one-time only collector's item thing. You see, Riles, for instance will be doing all the vocals, and she'll be supplying the guitar track, but we'll be doing everything else; you know, backing male vocals if she needs it, instruments, stuff like that. We're doing them all at one time, and releasing them all at one time."

"Oh," James said quietly.

He pressed his lips together, before forcing his tongue between them, licking his dry lips. He had been wanting to ask about this for a while. Ever since Griffin had asked who, out of Big Time Rush, would be the one to break out and be the solo singer. James had jumped at the chance, rushing into the studio to start singing. And he basically had gotten tackled for it.

James rubbed at his ribs at the spot where Carlos's head had collided into him. He was sure that if Carlos had been wearing his helmet that it could've potentially cracked a rib or two. It wouldn't have been the first time that had happened. Hell, it wouldn't have been the first time Carlos had resorted to physical damage just to get James to stop doing whatever it was that he was doing.

Being a solo artist had always been his dream and those few seconds in the booth by himself, it was scary but in a way, it was so right. It felt right. He knew that this was what he was suppose to be doing. Working with Gustavo, it wouldn't have happened if it hadn't been for Kendall. James was just a package deal. He had wanted Kendall, not him. It was a tough thing to deal with, and it was a tough thing to have to accept, but he was able to squash those feelings all for the music. All because he was making music.

That was what was most important.

But, those questions, people wondering who was going to go solo first, made him start to wonder. Big Time Rush had brought the popularity of boy bands back. Some had compared them to *NSYNC, something that had gotten his blood pumping, his adrenaline racing, pushing him to work harder, to be the best singer and dancer he could be not only to prove to Gustavo that he could do well in the group, but also on his own.

But, it was Kendall that had gotten him out to that audition to begin with. To turn his back on his friend like that…he just couldn't do that to him. Kendall was his best friend, his brother, he just couldn't turn his back on him like that. That was why he had been so quiet for so long about the whole thing. But, with his friends getting that opportunity, when he _had _that opportunity, it just brought everything back.

"I think you could be a great solo singer, James," Patrick said, squatting before moving into a sitting position, stretching his legs out in front of him. "You've got the drive, the passion, the voice, the talent, the looks, you've got it all. I just wonder if you know you have it all."

James blinked, taken aback. "Uh, my dream is to marry Nicole and have five houses, remember?" James asked. He let out a short laugh. "If I didn't think I had it all, I don't think I'd dream _that _big."

"Yes you would," Patrick replied, using his thumb to scratch the side of his jaw. "Because you know you deserve it. Kendall knows you deserve it, and so does Carlos, and Logan. We all know it."

"They love Big Time Rush," James said. Patrick nodded, his eyebrows inching up his forehead. " I love being a part of Big Time Rush, I love doing things with them. That's how it's always been, the four of us."

"Was it always that way before you got here?" Patrick asked and James nodded. "Even when Kendall's dream was hockey, and Logan wanted to be a doctor, and Carlos wanted to—"

"Be a superhero," James finished for him and Patrick gave him an odd look. "Yeah, just don't ask." His laughter slowly faded as he took in what Patrick was saying.

At the time, the four of them had always done things together, but they were working towards their own goals. Who really knew if they continued on their path if they'd still be best friends, and still be together?

"I'm just saying; if you're so supportive of each other before you came out to LA, what makes you think they won't be supportive of you now?" Patrick asked, tilting his head to the side. "Or in the future?"

_I don't want to be the reason for the break up, though, _James thought to himself. He remembered how his friends had looked when he had signed to Hawk Records and all but refused to be a part of the band again. He never wanted to be the cause of those looks again.

James set his water bottle down onto the ground and clapped his hands together. "We've lost enough time, let's go," He swung his legs around so he was straddling the bench and lay back, reaching up for the barbell. "You got it?"

"No worries, dude," Patrick replied as he stepped around him to grab the bar. "I've got your back."

_Just like they always have, _James thought to himself before starting another circuit of reps.


	3. Gonna Be Somebody Someday

**Gonna Be Somebody Someday:**

**Carlos**

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

Carlos looked over at his girlfriend, Stephanie King, who had her video camera trained on him. She had the viewfinder angled so she could see what it was that she was looking at, a look of worry etched onto her face.

"Would you relax?" he asked, reaching a hand up to touch the helmet that sat on top of his hair. "I've done this a million times."

"Correction," Stephanie replied, "you tried this and _failed_ a million times." She closed her video camera before stepping over the grass of Palm Woods park to stand next to him. "What's with you and wanting to try all these stunts and everything?"

Carlos shrugged. "Everything that happened during the Tween Choie awards was just…so _cool_," Carlos replied. "I mean, I thought the spy work we were doing in London was pretty neat."

"Not that story _again_," Stephanie groaned, a pained expression crossing her face.

"What? You don't believe me?" Carlos asked, his eyes widening. Stephanie smiled before kissing him on the cheek.

"Of course I believe you," she replied, "I'm just getting tired of hearing it over, and over, and over. And it was great that you saw what a real spy can do and everything, I'm just making sure Gustavo doesn't have a reason to yell and scream at you." She planted a hand on her hip, resting her arm on Carlos's shoulder. "More so than usual."

"Nah, Gustavo loves us," Carlos said with a grin, waving his hand in the air. "He just doesn't want to admit it."

"I don't think he'd admit it even if he was lying on his death bed," Stephanie said with a shake of his head.

"Hey, don't forget, the password to his secret vault was 'my dogs' remember?" Carlos pointed out and Stephanie gave him an amused smile.

"Yes, I remember," Stephanie replied, with a heavy sigh. "But, if you really want this to work out, then I think Camille would be your best bet on anything spy related. I mean, she _did_ try out for that movie, Spy High."

"No offense," Carlos said, giving Stephanie an odd look, "but Camille's kind of…oh, what's the word I'm looking for?"

"Crazy?" Stephanie supplied and Carlos snapped his fingers, pointing at her.

"Yeah, that's it," Carlos replied with a nod of his head. "She's kind of crazy when she gets into her acting. I just want to have fun." He gave her a peaceful smile. "Now, just make sure you get a good view of me swinging out of the tree, over the flaming trash can, grabbing the drowning dog, and landing safely on the other side."

He dropped his arms, letting out a sigh of annoyance before stalking across the lush green grass of the Palm Woods park and over to the metal trash can which was _not _on fire. "Why isn't this on fire?" He turned towards the black haired, teenage boy that stood off to the side, humming to himself, rocking back and forth on his heels.

"I'm not allowed to play with fire," Sydney Jackson-McGuire replied with a shrug.

"Of all the rules you actually choose to follow," Carlos said and Sydney gave a cheeky smile.

"Yeah, and I don't think this tree is going to hold your wait."

Carlos tilted his head up to see Noah Jackson-McGuire sitting on the branches of the three above him, kicking his legs back and forth, holding a jump rope in his hands. "We can digitally add in the flames and everything," Noah continued, "but I doubt we could digitally fix your broken face when you go slamming into the ground."

"Well, how else am I going to prove to people that I can be a stunt man or spy?" Carlos asked.

"They saw your windows down video, they already know you're crazy enough to jump off a cliff backwards," Sydney replied, hiking an eyebrow. "Honestly, mate, I think you're a few sheep short of the station for wanting to do this."

"If that's the case, then why'd you agree to help him?" Stephanie asked, letting out a laugh of shock.

"He promised corn dogs," Noah replied with a shrug, giving her a warm smile. Stephanie smiled in reply.

Carlos watched the exchange with a small frown and scratched the back of his head before sliding his hands into his jeans pockets. He knew that Noah always had a crush on his girlfriend. Nothing ever came of it, apart from Noah telling her how he felt, but he had gone to Carlos first, to tell him of his feelings, but also to tell him that he wasn't going to try anything, that he just wanted him to know. Carlos was happy to call Noah his friend, and that was just one of the reasons why: his loyalty.

Truth be told, in a way, he didn't really know what he was doing. There was a lull in work for the band as Gustavo tried to figure out the next move for them. Carlos had thought it was simple; keep making albums, keep making music, keep touring. He guessed he didn't know the business that well if he thought it was really that simple.

But, they had something to prove, they had won a Tween Choice Award for a reason. They had to keep working to prove to everyone out there that they could pump out hit after hit, to have a long lasting career. He had seen how other acts had turned out; they had good things going for them, the awards, the fans, the fame, and then it was all ripped out from underneath them and their careers went crashing and burning. Or someone went solo. He had seen how other acts from Gustavo turned out, and while they had shown the world that they were serious and here to stay, they still had a little bit to go to pass the longest surviving boy band of his.

With how James acted, Carlos could tell it was going to be him that went solo should things start to head south. Kendall had hockey and Logan had his medical school. So where did that leave him? A washed up singer who was in love. That wouldn't give him any brownie points, and it didn't lead to a job, either. He did know his dream of being a super hero was pretty far off and impossible, but it was better than nothing.

It was better than being that one guy who didn't have anything going for him when it all ended. _If _it ended. He had to remind himself that things could all be taken away from him at any minute, but in this moment, he was still in a band, he had a girlfriend, and he was happy. He had everything, at least he felt like he did, as long as he had Stephanie around him.

She had been there for everything in his career, the good and the bad, and most importantly, she saw him for who he was; Carlos Garcia, not a European soccer star or whoever the Jennifers wanted him to be at the time and he loved her for it. He truly loved her. Which was why he wanted to propose to her. That was why they were out there to begin with.

They had been together since they were sixteen years old. He had never thought that anything like that would happen to him. He didn't think he'd ever find anyone who had no problem with how crazy he could act and even join him in his crazy antics from time to time. She just got him. He didn't have to say anything, she just knew what it was that he wanted and needed.

He needed her.

"Ok, I may have egged you on with a few more of your stunts, but this is a _very_ bad idea," Stephanie said before chewing on her bottom lip. "I'm sorry, Carlos, but out of all the dumbest things you've done or tried to do, it's this one. I love you too much to bust your face open trying to impress people." She stepped closer and gave him a pleading smile. "A face I like to look at every day."

"It'll be fine, don't worry," Carlos said, waving a hand in her direction before facing the two boys, winking at them. Sydney smiled and Noah, who was great with keeping his face neutral, gave a brief nod of his head.

"Carlos-"

"One fire coming up," Sydney said, reaching into his pockets to retrieving a lighter. "I don't think Riley is going to miss this. If she does, I'll tell her it's your fault, Carlos."

"Gee thanks," Carlos said with a roll of his eyes as Sydney flicked his thumb on the lighter. A flame ignited and he made his way over to the trashcan, lowering it to the corner of a piece of paper that stuck out of the trash can. With a _whoosh _the paper inside ignited. "And one drowning dog, although not really 'cause then Riles would _really_ have a reason to want to kill you." He then walked over to the bench, where a white maltipoo puppy was lying on the ground, it's collar connected to a leash, wrapped around a leg of the bench. "Come on, Spencer."

The 2 year old dog lifted its head, yapping at Sydney as he clapped his hands together. Spencer was Riley's dog, a gift from Kendall one year for Christmas after she had found out that her older dog, Rugby, had passed away. She, at first, was mad at him for getting her a new dog so soon, but it really did help with her grieving. And Carlo was excited to have it around, despite never getting a new dog after Sparky.

"You want to take a bath, Spencer?" Sydney asked, unhooking the leash from the dog. "Stay!" Spencer sat obediently and Sydney lifted the dog off the ground, walking him over to the pool. "Just stay in here." He set the dog down into the pool and patted him on the head. Spencer yapped happily, jumping in the water. "Good boy. Just stay in the pool."

"Awesome," Carlos said clapping his hands together, making his way towards the tree. His heart started beating in his chest as he looked up at Noah, who gave a small smile, kicking his legs back and forth. He shook his arms out by his sides, trying to shake out the nerves that were racing through his body. An ache formed in his stomach, saliva collecting in his throat as if he was about to throw up. He grasped onto the bottom tree branch, lifting a foot onto the tree. _When is she going to stop me? _He put up his other foot and started to pull himself up.

"Wait!" Stephanie hurried after him, grabbing his arm. Carlos peered over at her before dropping back down to the ground, clapping his hands. "I _really_ don't think you should do this, guys."

"He'll be fine," Sydney protested. "Besides, he's a man, and this is the kind of stupid stuff us men do."

"Not all of us," Noah muttered and Sydney stuck his tongue out at him. "Who's being the man, now?" Sydney stuck his tongue out even further and Noah tilted his head back in a laugh.

"Yeah, Steph, don't worry," Carlos replied, turning back towards the tree. Stephanie shoved her camera into Sydney's chest, who frowned, rubbing at the sore spot. She ignored him to march up to him, pointing a finger in his face.

"Carlos Emmanuel Garcia, if you don't stop it this instant I _will _call your mother," she threatened.

_Bingo_, Carlos thought, to himself, gently pushing her hand away. Normally, a threat to call his mom would have him jumping out of his skin, but not today.

If he could face her scary father to ask for his permission to marry her, then he could do this. He was surprised Mr. King granted him the pleasure of allowing him to ask for Stephanie's hand in marriage. He was a pretty scary looking man, and was very protective of his daughter. Carlos had, admittedly, messed up a few times in their relationship, making Mr. King weary of him. He thought they were going too fast, but he could see how much Carlos meant to his daughter and how much she meant to him.

"Go ahead and call her," he said with a shrug and Stephanie's menacing look slowly turned into confusion. "We can tell her the good news at the same time."

"…_What_ good news?" she asked slowly.

Carlos closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath of air through his nose before slipping his hand into his jeans pocket. He dug around until he felt the hard edge of the ring in his pocket and pulled it out, holding the diamond up into the air as he dropped onto one knee.

"Stephanie," he said, taking her hand. Stephanie gasped, her free hand flying to cover her mouth. "I love you so much. I can't go a day without needing to talk to you, think about you, or just be around you. When I first saw you, I knew that I had to get your attention and I'm glad I did because you always saw me for me, not who you wanted me to be. You always bring out the best in me, you make me a better man."

Carlos' cheeks were hurting he was smiling so wide. Stephanie buried her bright red face in her hand before lifting her head. Her eyes sparkled more than he had ever seen them sparkle before and his heart rammed in his chest. He had never seen her look so happy before and he was happy he could do that for her. He always wanted to do that for her.

"I love your laugh, your smile, the way you wrinkle your nose when I say something stupid but you try and laugh about it, anyway, and most importantly, I love how much I love you. I never loved anyone as much as I love you which has given me the courage to ask: will you marry me?"

Stephanie burst into laughs and tears as she nodded her head. Her lips shook and she reached up a hand to dab at her eyes. "Yes, you idiot," she said and Carlos let out a breath in relief, getting to his feet, pressing a hard kiss to her mouth before sliding the ring on her finger. He could hear clapping and lifted his head to see Noah clapping with Sydney by his side, the camera up to his eye. She then punched him on the arm.

"Ow!" he cried, rubbing at the spot. "What was that for?"

"For scaring me half to death," Stephanie said, glaring at him as best as she could, but she couldn't stop the smile that stayed on her face. "I can't believe this." She then looked over at Noah and Sydney. "You two were a part of this the whole time?" The two boys nodded and smiled. "So he didn't pay you in corn dogs."

"No, he did," Sydney said, holding the camera with one hand, using the other to pull up his pants. His dimples appeared in his cheeks. "But, you're our friend, of course we'd help."

"he thought the girls would've given it away," Noah added, scratching at his arm, "and the guys would just do something stupid to piss you off and make you leave or something." He gave a shrug and Carlos laughed, wrapping his arms around her waist, pressing his forehead to hers.

"I asked your dad about a week ago," Carlos explained, "remember? When we were watching those kung fu movies?"

"I remember," Stephanie said.

"Smile for the camera," Sydney announced.

"We're engaged," Carlos whispered.

"I love you so much," Stephanie replied, wrapping her arms around his neck, kissing him. He then shoved his shoulders and Carlos stumbled back, laughing. "Don't you _ever _scare me like that again."

"I promise," Carlos laughed before hugging her again, spinning her around in a circle.

He wasn't sure where Big Time Rush would be in five or maybe ten years, but he did know that he'd always have Stephanie by his side, and they'd tackle anything life threw at them together.

* * *

**A/N: **I went to youtube and looked up proposal ideas, but they didn't scream "Carlos" as much as this did. It's kind of out there, but I figured if he did something he loved; doing something crazy and fun, it'd get the point across.

-Rhuben


	4. Only Gotta Try

**Only Gotta Try:**

**Logan**

Logan Mitchell stared at the giant text book in his hands. His eyes darted back and forth from line to line, question after question, silently answering them. He flipped the page and started again, head moving slightly from side to side. He set his thumb into the center of the book before looking back over his answers on the sheet next to him. He frowned, his eyebrows knitting together.

Wrong.

He was wrong.

"What?" he whispered to himself. His lips moved slightly as he read over the question a second time. "Oh, there we go." He picked up his pencil, flipped it over erased his answer before filling in the bubble with the correct answer. "There we go."

"BOO!"

Logan barely bat an eyelash at the sudden shout in his ear. He set down his pencil, cupping his cheek with his palm before looking up at the figure that walked around the table. "Hey, Bella," he greeted.

"You don't seem excited to see me," Rhben Jackson-McGuire said with a small laugh as she moved to sit down on the edge of the fountain in Hyde Park. She smiled as small droplets of water hit the side of her face as the water was pushed by the breeze. "That hurts, Logie-Bear."

Logan's cheek twitched when he heard the name. "Sorry, I'm just finishing this practice test," Logan said before showing her the cover of the book.

"Trying for the MCAT again, huh?" she asked and Logan nodded. "Why don't you take Carlos's approach?"

"Corn dogs don't solve everything," Logan said through clenched teeth. "That was a fluke anyway. He wasn't supposed to _take_ the test." He used his pencil to scratch an itchy spot on the back of his head before setting it down against his practice test.

"Aww, you're just aggro because he got a better score than you," Rhuben replied. She moved to take off her socks and shoes. Logan watched as she rolled her jeans up her tan legs, cuffing them at the knee before swinging them over to stick her feet into the water. "Not a big deal."

"Not a big deal?" Logan repeated, his eyebrows inching up his forehead. He looked over at his friend as if she had grown a second head. "Not a big deal? In case you've forgotten, Bella, this is my future I'm talking about."

"Your future in the funny farm, maybe," Rhuben replied, kicking her legs back and forth in the water. She wrinkled her nose, her freckles sliding closer together, appearing to make a darker brown spot over the bridge of her nose. "I thought we were going to hang out."

Logan's lip curled upwards into a smile. "I thought you wanted to help me," he said to her before looking at the watch on his wrist. "You're ten minutes late."

"Surprised you lifted your eyes from the test long enough to figure that out," Rhuben replied with a teasing smile. "You're going to ace that test you know. You always do." Logan made a snorting sound. "You know, you really need to relax."

"Forgive me for looking ahead and actually wanting to do something with my life," Logan replied. He then groaned when he heard a beeping sound. Feeling vibrations in his pocket, he reached his hand in to pull out his cell phone. He watched as a small alarm clock bounced up and down, the bells on top ringing in time with the vibrations. "Great."

Logan had always dreamed of becoming a doctor, even more so after finding out about his friends' abuse. Not only the Jacksons, but Kendall's too. He had never noticed the warning signs when he was younger, and often wondered how things would've turned out if he had said anything before. He wasn't in Minnesota at the time of Kendall's abuse, but he had seen the side effects: the bursts of rage, the occasional nightmares, insomnia, and rarely a bout of depression.

He had seen that with the Jacksons, but never did or said anything about it. Partially because Robert was such a scary guy he was worried about what the man would do to him, and also because he wasn't entirely sure what was happening. He spent months looking up the signs, recording any interesting and questionable actions from his friends.

He was happy that things were finally going well for them, but it could've all been handled if he had said something years ago. Even as a kid, he had that distinct feeling that something was wrong, but he had never said anything. To be a doctor, to notice all the warning signs and to step in early enough, it'd be really fulfilling and he felt like he could really give back to those in need.

"Logie, relax," Rhuben said, putting a hand up into the air. "It's just a practice test. You're not taking the MCAT for a couple more months."

_"That's just it," Logan said, rubbing at his temples. "I felt like I'm taking the actual exam and not just a practice test. I really want to do well on this." He let out a sigh, peering up at her. "Being a doctor has always been my dream."_

_"I know, Logan, I know," Rhuben replied with a nod of her head. "You've talked about it often enough."_

_Logan pressed his lips slightly together. He had been talking about it for a long time, he couldn't deny that. He just wanted to be sure he had something to do in his free time when he wasn't working on new songs, or dance moves, or doing interviews. He wanted to be sure that he had a back-up plan in case things ended. He was being realistic; there was a slim chance that anyone who tried to make it in the business would succeed and make a name for themselves. It was an even slimmer chance to keep their career going for a long time. There was nothing wrong with being prepared._

_Being a part of Big Time Rush was a completely different life, but it was something he was truly enjoying. It was less structured and more carefree in contrast to the structure of schooling and little felt as good as a heart thumping, adrenaline pumping live concert. _

"Well, excuse me for wanting to be prepared," Logan said, allowing a smile to come to his face, "unlike Miss I-Don't-Know-What-I-Want-To-Do-With-My-Life." He laughed, lifting his book to shield himself from the wave of water she kicked towards him. "Hey, watch the books."

"I've been watching you, with those books, for the past couple of weeks," Rhuben replied, starting to twist a lock of her hair around her finger. "You need to get a life." She lifted a hand and made an 'L' with her index finger and thumb, mouthing the word, "Loser."

"Whatever," Logan mouthed back, making a 'W' with his hand.

"You're going to do great, Logan," Rhuben said with a slight eye roll. "I mean, as long as you stop being so uptight."

"I'm not uptight," Logan protested with a frown. He glanced at his watch again as it started to beep. He then shoved his book into Rhuben's arms. "Key words; quiz me."

"You're sup uptight, you're wound tighter than a two-dollar watch," Rhuben replied, looking down at the book in her arms. "Cool your jets. You just won a Tween Choice Award, you should be having fun and working on your next album."

"If there's going to _be _a next album," Logan replied with a sigh. "We haven't done anything since our album's been released." His eyebrows knitted together. "It's important to be working on new material to stay ahead of the times."

"Take it from me, it's also important to take a break every once in a while," Rhuben replied. Logan had to agree with her; she had taken a year off after years and years of constant rehearsals, dancing, touring, and working. He was surprised that she had even lasted that long with constant pressure on her.

He barely lasted through preparations for their first ever tour; he almost went into global meltdown. First they had a tour planned, then it was cancelled, and then Gustavo wanted them back, and they had to put together a concert without money for promotion, wardrobe, or rehearsal space. But, they had pulled it off and put boy bands back on the map.

"There's no such thing as over studying," Logan protested.

"Have you seen Patrick?" Rhuben asked, quirking an eyebrow, a signature move. "He over studied once, just once, and now he hates to think." She shrugged, shaking her head back and forth. "It's pretty sad, really. He could've been really smart." She put a hand over her heart. "I'd hate to see that happen to you, Logan. I really would."

"Thanks for that, it's nice to know you care," Logan said with a roll of his eyes. He caught her eye and the two of them started to laugh. "Tell you what…help me for five minutes…and then we can go get some fro-yo."

Rhuben's nose wrinkled as she twisted her mouth to the side. She looked around the park and Logan followed his gaze. He would have never found Hyde Park if it wasn't for her. He remembered the first time she took him to the park. It was a couple of hours before their very first concert in Los Angeles. He was just as nervous as the other boys, and she had asked him to go for a walk.

She took him to Hyde Park, just in time to see the water color display at the fountain. It was the coolest thing he had ever seen and it really did calm him. Since then, whenever he wanted peace and quiet, or just a place to hang out, he would go to Hyde Park, often times asking her to join him just to get away from it all for a while. It was like time stood still while he was there. Like nothing else mattered while he was there.

"Deal," she replied before holding out her hands towards him. Logan smiled lifting his hands over hers and swung his hands down, slapping his palms against hers. He then turned his hands over, showing her his palms, before she slapped his with hers. "Let's get cracking Mr. Future."

"You remember our deal, right?" Logan asked.

"That you and Riles would go to medical school and I'd attend a college down the road?" Rhuben asked and Logan nodded his head. "Yeahhh." She gave him a brief smile. "I don't know if Riles still wants to do that. Go to school with you, I mean."

"I figured," Logan replied with a nod of his head. He had never realized they had grown apart over the years, and it was a surprise to him when she suddenly blew up at him about it.

He still cared about her, and they did still hang out together with their large group of friends. It was just going to take some time to be comfortable with their new friendship. They were really taking the time to start over and get to know each other, when they talked, anyway. It did hurt, but Logan could understand her reasoning behind everything. He knew she wasn't going to forget anything they had previously shared and he would make sure he didn't either.

"What about you?" Logan asked and Rhuben gave him a confused look before lifting a purple nail polish covered hand to her mouth. She used her teeth to start picking at a hangnail. "Would you still follow through with our plan?"

"Hard to say," Rhuben replied with a shrug. "I never really think about what'll happen in the future, just what I'm doing at a moment in time." Logan nodded his head. "Logie, you'll always be one of my best friends. You always took care of me."

"Somebody has to," Logan replied with a shrug. He pressed his lips together before making a popping sound. "I couldn't do it before…so I'm making up for lost time."

"Hoon, you drive me corkscrew crazy sometimes," Rhuben said laugh, gently hitting Logan's forehead with the palm of her hand. She then opened the book in her arms. "Passing might be the only way to get you to shut up about this test, so let's get cracking." She opened the book and started flipping through the pages. "I'm proud of you, you know; wanting to do something worthwhile with your life."

"A life without risks is a life unlived, right?" Logan asked, giving her a smile. He picked at his fingernails before holding out his pinky. She peered curiously up at him through her bangs. "Promise me that, no matter where we are five or ten years from now we'll still be a part of each other's lives. Whether we're still making music or living on opposite ends of the world, we'll still be friends."

Rhuben hooked her pinky around his and they shook their hands up and down three times. "Promise," she replied and the two of them shared a smile.

"Do you really think I'll make a good doctor?" Logan asked, reaching forward to start turning the pages himself, going back to where he had left off in the book.

"Yup," Rhuben replied with a nod of her head. "if you're half a good a doctor as you are a good friend; then I have no doubt, Logie-Bear. Only someone as kind and selfless as you would be willing to help those in need even at the risk that things won't turn out alright."

"You've' always been an optimist; wanting to see things turn out well. And like you said, it's a good idea to have a back-up plan. School's always going to be there; no one can take that away from you. No one can take away your dreams and this is something you've always wanted to do."

Logan smiled. Before reaching out to shake her knee. "Compliments aren't going to get you out of this," he said to her and Rhuben snapped her fingers as if he had ruined her plan. "What's up?"

"What do you mean?" Rhuben asked, using her shoulder to brush her hair out of her face.

"I don't know..." Logan squinted his eyes slightly. "You just seem really...happy today. I don't think I've seen that in a long time; it's nice to see."

"Nice to feel."

* * *

**A/N: **I think I enjoy writing season 4 fics the most now (technically, this is after season 4, but you get my point. Even though this is my second one, I'm pretty sure. I have to go back and check). Merry Christmas, everyone. Due to the length of the chapter, Never Again has been pushed back in updating, but it's more than halfway done, so I'll have it up, soon.

-Rhuben


	5. We Are

**A/N: **I realized I never answered this question: this is set four months after Big Time Dreams.

* * *

**We Are:**

**Big Time Rush**

"So that's it?" Sydney quietly asked the next day, looking around at the four boys that sat in front of her. "Big Time Rush is over?"

Kendall didn't think he had ever seen the Jacksons look so depressed in his entire life. Sydney, of course, was the saddest looking. Their home in San Marino, which was normally lively with shouts and laughter, was silent. It was the most quiet he had ever heard the house to be.

"Not exactly," Logan quickly explained. "With Kendall's hockey career, and my medical school, and James wanting to go solo, we just…don't see the band continuing?"

"So, it's over?" Sydney repeated.

"Why not go on hiatus?" Rhuben asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

They had thought of that as well. Earlier that day, Kendall had asked everybody to meet in apartment 2J for a meeting. He had noticed they all had been distracted lately, all off in their own little world and wanted to touch base with everybody. Not only that, but keeping the news about his hockey tryouts quiet was eating him up inside. He knew his friends would be happy for him, but he didn't know how they'd take the idea of putting the band on hold until he found out for sure whether or not he got in.

Especially, James.

It wasn't like they were doing anything at Rocque Records anyway. Sure, he knew it'd take time for both Blazing Phoenix Records and Rocque Records to really be able to combine their companies smoothly, but he figured they'd at least still be given new samples to work with.

That was when James had dropped the bombshell that he had wanted to go solo. Kendall's heart had panged in his chest; two parts hurt, but one part relief. He was hurt that James had thought about breaking off from the group after saying that Big Time Rush would never break up right before the Tween Choice Awards. But, what he wanted them to do wasn't any better; waiting around for him to make music, if he made it into the minors, wouldn't be fair to them. The relief, though, was simply due to knowing that James would still be able to continue his dream of a singing career.

After James spoke up, Logan had talked about wanting to continue his studies for medical school. Now that they weren't at the Palm Woods School anymore, he had been doing a lot of his studying around studio work, and rehearsals, and touring, and _everything_ so it was taxing trying to be both a student and a musician. He had more respect for his friends for being home schooled and doing their work all at the same time.

But, Carlos had the biggest surprise when he announced to everyone as soon as he had gotten back to the Palm Woods the day before that he and Stephanie were engaged. Kendall did see an engagement with them somewhere down the line, but not this soon. That's not to say that he wasn't happy for his friend; words couldn't describe how happy he was. To find that someone and know you'd be with them for the rest of your life? He was pretty sure he had found that with Riley, so he had inkling as to how that felt.

"We thought about that," Logan said, popping his knuckles. "We've been talking all night about it. We didn't want to be on hiatus and give our fans the hope that we'd get back together to ultimately end it later on."

"So you didn't want to pull an *NSYNC?" Noah asked. His eyebrows hiked up his forehead as the corners of his lips pulled down. "Makes sense."

"Well, what do you think we should do?" James asked.

"Well, that's a first," Patrick said with a snort, "normally we just _give_ them our advice, and now they're asking for it." He was sitting on the floor at the table, his back to the couch, facing James and Carlos.

"So, what do you think?" Carlos asked, reaching out his foot to shove him.

"Vaycay, duh!" Patrick replied, reaching his hand back for James to slap his palm. James obliged with a wide grin. "We do all our best thinking—"

"_Four _of us do our best thinking," Sydney interrupted him and Patrick shrugged.

"When we get the chance to get away from all of this," Patrick finished his previous sentence, opening his arms wide, purposefully smacking Sydney on the side of the head. Sydney made a noise of annoyance, slapping his brother's hand away from him. "And when we want to get away from you lot, too."

"Heyyyy!" Carlos said, a mock look of hurt crossing his face.

"Seriously, though, when we go home we take the time to sit and think and talk about what it was that we want to do with our career," Rhuben said, slumping in her seat to cross one leg over the other. She adjusted "When we took the year off, we had actually thought about ending everything, so we get what you're saying."

Kendall looked around the room and saw that his friends didn't look surprised at the statement. He wasn't either. He couldn't blame them after everything they had done for their fans for all the years they've been performing. Before they're break he could see that they were burning out.

"Well, at least we can finally get some _real_ work done," Patrick said with a devilish grin, causing his friends to laugh.

"And to think you said that we were the bet group you've ever worked with," Logan said.

"Let me tell you something I'm surprised you haven't figured out yet," Riley said. She was sitting on the arm rest of the chair that Kendall was sitting in. He instantly looped his arm around her waist, and she put her hand on top of his. "Celebrities lie."

"Name one time you've lied," Kendall said to her and then quickly added, "apart from the obvious big one, I mean."

"Easy," Rhuben said before any of her brothers or sisters could say anything else, "the time she told you that your grandpa shirt looked good on you." Kendall frowned as he looked down at his sweater, pinching at the collar to look at the diamond pattern.

"I thought you didn't consider yourself to be celebrities," James said with a pointed smile and Riley just shrugged, putting a smile on her face.

"_Hellllooooo_!" Katie loudly said, waving her hand in the air, speaking up for the first time. They had brought her with them to give her and their friends the news at one time. She had been quiet since they just broke the news. "I think you're forgetting the big picture here." Her eyebrows inched up her forehead as everyone turned to look at her. "Where're we vacationing? Preferably _not _Hawaii, because the only thing I could get out of them was coconuts." Her words were dripping with sarcasm before she rolled her eyes. Her shoulders then dropped, a look of forlorn crossing her face. "Don't you all care that Big Time Rush is ending? That you're all splitting up?"

Kendall's heart panged in his chest for the second time that day. Big Time Rush was just as big a part of Katie as it was for him. Would she stay in LA? Would she go back to Minnesota? What would happen with her relationship with Patirck? Kendall watched, a smile on his face as Patrick reached up to grasp her wrist, carefully pull her down next to him to wrap an arm around her shoulders. She rested her head on her boyfriend's shoulder. Patrick seemed to have just realized it as a troubled look had crossed his face.

She pointed at Kendall. "Gustavo had you record a solo album, but you couldn't go through it because it didn't feel right without the guys." She then looked over at Carlos. "You wanted to be a big Broadway star just so you wouldn't be left behind when the rest of these idiots actually did something with their lives." She looked at James. "Griffin wanted you to be a solo act and…"She trailed off as she peered over at him. "Actually, I can see James doing the solo act thing." James gave her a wink and a bright smile. "And Logan…don't you _dare _become a game show host or I will hurt you. You do realize that if Kendall becomes a big hockey star, and as you work through medical school, you could be his personal medic?"

The light atmosphere suddenly turned gray, dampening the smiles and laughter from the group of friends as they allowed her words to sink in. Carlos started to flip his hockey helmet in his hands, sliding down the couch. James had a thoughtful look on his face, and Logan just ran his fingers through his hair.

"Of course we care, Katie," Kendall replied, blinking in surprise. "I mean, I don't know about the rest of you, but I never thought something like this would ever happen." His voice cracked and he put a fist in front of his mouth as he cleared his throat. "And once we were here, I never thought it would end. There isn't anyone else I'd rather go through all of this with. You're my best friends, my brothers; I love you guys. But, I think—"

"Can I say something?" James asked, looking over at Kendall. Kendall closed his mouth, nodding his head. His green eyes fixed on James as he wiped his hands on his jeans.

Everyone watched as James's legs started to bounce as he tapped the ground with the balls of his feet. He slid his hands forward on his jeans as he leaned forward, and then pulled them back as he pulled back minutes later. He opened and closed his mouth before letting out a heavy sigh.

Kendall broke the silence with a chuckle. "You're welcome, James," he said to his friend. James broke into a grin, laughing a little bit as well.

"Thanks, Kendall," he finally said and Kendall gave a nod of his head. "For everything."

"You don't have to thank me," Kendall said, shaking his head back and forth.

"Yes, I do," James said with an incredulous laugh. "We _all _need to thank you." He gently hit Carlos's shoulder with the back of his hand and angled his head in Logan's direction. "The thing is, Kendall, we wouldn't be out here if it wasn't for you," James said, turning his head to look at Kendall. "Everything we've done, you've helped us through it. You've encouraged us and wouldn't let us doubt ourselves even for a second."

"That's right," Logan agreed. "I wouldn't have gotten this far studying to be a med student if it wasn't for you. I mean, even when you didn't want to, you stayed up late with me helping me cram for the MCAT." An annoyed look crossed his face as he clenched his teeth. "I _still_ can't believe Carlos got a perfect score just by writing out corn dogs with the bubbles."

"I told you, corn dogs fix everything," Carlos said with a smile. He then whimpered before crossing his arms over his chest. "Except this; corn dogs won't fix this."

"Nothing needs to be fixed, mates," Riley said, rubbing at her temples with her fingers. "Y'all aren't broken! You're just going your separate ways." She rolled her eyes. "Sheesh. Just imagine how you'd blokes would be if you all decided to each go to a different Uni."

"Awww, Riles, you know you'd miss us," Carlos said with a grin.

"Course I would, Care Bear," Riley replied quietly and Carlos's smile widened.

"But, Kendall, James and Logan are right," Carlos said. He rubbed his hands together, pressing his lips. "In fact, um, you wouldn't have given me the courage to propose to Steph. I mean, you're brave enough to try everything at least once."

"Look, Kendall, the point is that it's time for us to support _you_," James said, continuing his train of thought. His cheeks were bright red and his hair, which was perfectly set in place with gel was now sticking out in odd directions. "Hockey was something _you_ always wanted to do and you turned it down, not once, but _twice_ to help me reach my dream. It's time to help you reach yours."

"Music will always be there, mate," Noah spoke up, twisting a loose thread around his finger. "On SchnoopTube, and on iTunes, and physical copies of your albums. Those will always be there, but not the chance to play in the minors."

"Besides, your constant use of hockey terms has to come in handy sooner or later," Rhuben said before leaning towards Noah. "Better them than us, ay?" Noah smiled, but didn't say anything, else as Kendall rolled his eyes.

"Not only that, but you can't really break up yet," Riley added, picking at her fingernails, leaning back against the back of the chair. "You have one more song to record." She held her hand out in front of her, fanning out her fingers to look at her deep red nail polish before using her thumb to chip at the corner of the polish on the index finger of her free hand. "On the upcoming 5th album for a few friends of yours. Pretty good looking bunch, too, if ya ask me, mate." She then lifted her head, giving a toothy grin. "What do ya say?"

"Of course!" James replied, clapping his hands together before looking around at his friends. "Right, guys?" He got a response of nods and words of agreement in reply. "So you've started working on your fifth album, then?"

"Yeah, we've got a tour to prepare for," Sydney replied with a nod. "Nothing too hectic, we're really going to take the time to enjoy this one." He smiled his dimpled smile. "We want you guys to perform the song with us when we kick it off with our first show.

"We've got a name for the album, too," Patrick replied, "and we think it fits you guys as well. It wasn't hard to come up with, either. We're calling it _We Are Family_."

"We are, aren't we?" Kendall asked quietly. He looked around at all of his friends before stopping on his girlfriend who gave him a wink and a smile. "We are a family. One big crazy family, but a family." He looked over at the Jacksons. "We can't thank you guys enough for everything. For teaching us about the industry, for kicking our butts on and off the stage, for trusting us, everything."

"No worries, mate," Patrick replied with a nod of his head. "You blokes may have driven us crazy, but it's been fun."

"You've taught us a lot, too." Sydney added, "Like...how to have fun again. We've always said that you all had this fun vibe you were able to put into your music." He scratched the side of his jaw with his thumb. "You helped us bring back that fun you used to be able to find with our music. Not only that, but everything with Robert. You didn't have to get involved, but you did, and we couldn't be more grateful."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're all going to miss each other," Patrick said, waving his hands into the air. Katie elbowed him in the side. "What? I suck at goodbyes, and it's not like you're leaving yet." He pressed his forehead to Katie's and said quietly, "I don't think I can say 'goodbye' to you." Katie smiled, a blush tinged her cheeks pink, before giving him a kiss on the cheek. He then looked over at Riley and Kendall. "What's going to happen to you, two?"

"Well," Kendall said with a sigh, reaching out to pat her knee as he smiled up at her, "she hasn't been able to get rid of me before."

"Doesn't mean I didn't try," Riley added and Kendall rolled his eyes.

"Trust me, she tried," Kendall joked, earning a hit to his shoulder. "We'll work something out."

"Good," Patrick replied with a smile. "Because if you hurt her, I'll hunt you down and beat you with your hockey stick. _Then_ will you be happy that Logan would be your personal medic." He then quirked an eyebrow before tilting his head back, letting out a groan. "Can we just tell them now? By the time they stop yammering, our trip will be over."

"What are you talking about?" James asked.

"Thanks, bro," Rhuben said to Patrick, who shrugged. "Well, you took us all to Minnesota with you for Christmas, and Hawaii for your video, so we thought we'd return the favor."

"Yeah, we're going home in about two and a half weeks, so we thought you'd want to tag along," Riley added with a shrug. "But, it's really up to you."

"Uh, _yeah_," James said, looking at her as if she had just lost her mind.

"Who's the 'you' in all this?" Logan asked, using air quotes around the word.

"Everybody," Patrick and Noah replied in unison.

"So…we go on the trip," Carlos said, starting to twist his fingers. "And when we get back, that's it? We're done?"

"Looks like it," Sydney said quietly, drawing circles on the table with his index finger. He gave a shrug. "If that's what you want to do and that look like what you want to do so…" He lifted his head, brushing his hair out of his face. "This sucks."

Kendall let out a sigh through his nose. Apart from Riley, and having a great friendship with Rhuben, he was the closest to Sydney. As the youngest Jackson had grown up, he saw Kendall as another older brother. Kendall looked out for him and showed him attention if he got the feeling that Sydney was being left out _because_ he was the youngest. They shared a love of Spider-Man and comic books, and he had even given Sydney his old ones.

There were times where the younger boy made him feel stupid because of how smart he was, and Kendall, did, unfortunately push Katie aside from time to time to spend time with him, but it had all worked out in the end. He enjoyed watching Sydney grow up from being 9, 10 years old, growing up to become a teenager. It was so hard to believe he used to be so shy.

He was really going to miss him. He was going to miss all of them.

"I'm going to miss this," James said, resting his chin in his hand. "Just hanging out, having a good time." A smile came to his face. "Getting into trouble." He then threw a wink at Riley and Rhuben. "And getting to see your faces every day, Beautiful."

"I saw that coming," Noah said, shaking his head to the side. Kendall laughed a little bit. Noah recently had started to wear his hair parted at one side, slicked back with gel. It was the first time since he met him that he was allowing people to actually look at him. It was probably habit to flick his head to move his hair out of his face. "Surprisingly, I'm going to miss that."

"It's funny," Rhuben commented and Kendall saw a far off look on her face as she reached a hand up to twist her hair into a French braid head band. With her black and purple hair woven together, it made a pretty cool look. They had all been trying out new looks to go with their new album; and to show that they were really in a good place in their life.

Riley had stopped wearing her pig tails, and opted to wear her hair down to her shoulders, keeping it natural and wavy instead of taking the time to straighten it every day. Sydney was growing his hair out, debating on whether or not to keep it long or to cut it shorter. Patrick was the only one who decided to keep his spike-y Mohawk look.

"You think we'd be experts with this by now; people leaving. People always leave and you just deal with it and move on with your life never knowing if you'll actually stay in touch or if you'll just disappear from each other's lives."

Her face had turned a bright red, making her blue eyes take a purple-ish tint to them as tears started to well up in her eyes. Kendall quickly passed a hand over his face, feeling the floodgates start to lower. He sniffed, blinking rapidly to try and hold it back. Katie already had tears slipping down her cheeks.

"But, maybe it's going to be ok," Rhuben continued, wiping at her eyes. She gave a laugh. "Normally, I'd act like the sky was falling. Like nothing is going to be ok; like everything bad that could happen is going to happen. For the first time I really think it'll be ok." She let out a shaky breath of air, but attempted a smile. "With everything that's happened, you're the best friends we've ever had. From what I've seen, it's not bad if people leave, it's if they don't come back that really sucks, and I can see you guys coming back."

"You can't get rid of us that easily," Carlos said, using his shirt to dab at his eyes.

"For me, personally, what sucks the most," Logan said, lifting his gaze from the floor, to look at Riley and Rhuben, "is leaving you two, again. I mean, after seven years we were back together, and then four years later…" He trailed off, swallowing thickly. "And Riles and I have really started to get our friendship back on track."

"Don't worry, Logie-Bear," Riley said and Sydney commented that Logan didn't flinch at the nickname. "We still have to open our doctor's office together."

Logan chuckled, shaking his head back and forth before running his hands over his face. She then got to her feet and made her way over to him, grabbing his hands to pull him to his feet before giving him a hug. Carlos then got to his feet, practically glomping the two of them as he wrapped his arms around the two of them. Kendall watched as his friends and his sister, one by one, joined the group hug.

He watched the tears slide down his friends' bright red faces, juxtaposed against their smiles as they held each other as tightly as they could. He couldn't hold back anymore and started to cry. He bowed his head, his shoulders shaking as he ran his hands over his face as so many memories came flooding back.

He remembered first stepping off the plane and seeing the LAX sign, their first day in the studio, meeting the Jacksons, meeting Camille, Jo, and Stephanie, helping get rid of Robert, every time Gustavo yelled at them, their first concert, their first live interview, Christmas at Rocque Records, Christmas in Minnesota, their reality show, when their moms came for Mother's Day, Ronan adopting the Jacksons, going to London and becoming spies, telling Riley how he felt, being there for her during a break down where she revealed that she liked him back, all the prank wars, the tours, the duets, the Tween Choice Awards and everything in between.

He had gone to LA to make music and to have a fun time; the latter being the most important to him until he learned that to be taken seriously as a performer, he had to learn when to work and when to have fun. While there were many down sides to trying to make it into the music industry, all the good sides, and sharing it with his large group of friends, made it all worth it. If he could go back in time to the day of James's audition, he wouldn't change a thing about it…except for Gustavo breaking his mom's teacup.

Kendall got to his feet and shuffled over to the group, squeezing in between Riley and Katie to join the group hug. "Guys," he said, looping his arms around their two shoulders. Everyone took his lead, sniffing and blinking back their tears to form a circle.

"I smell speech," Sydney said in a sing-song voice and Kendall shot him a fake annoyed look. Sydney merely smirked, his eyebrow twitching upwards.

"I couldn't imagine doing any of this without you," Kendall said, looking each and every one of them in the eye. "You're my best friends, and my best baby sister." Katie smiled up at him, squeezing him tightly with the arm that was wrapped around his waist. "You've made all of this so much better than I could've ever imagined. Originally, I did this all for James because he deserved a shot at making his dream come true, but this ended up being my dream. To make music and to have fun and to go as far as I could with you guys by my side, but most importantly, my dream was to help you guys live yours, to see you happy with whatever it is that you're doing."

"That's not sappy at all," Patrick muttered.

"Now I know you're back to normal," Kendall joked and Patrick gave his famous lopsided grin. Kendall removed his arm from Riley's shoulders and grasped her hand. She gently squeezed his hand in reply. "Years from now we may not be living anywhere near each other, and we may not be in the best contact with each other, but I know that no matter what, we're always going to be friends."

He then held out his hand into the middle of the circle and James, Carlos, and Logan slapped his palm. "You're always going to be my brothers and we're always going to be Big Time Rush."

"Enough with this mushy stuff," Katie said, using her arm to wipe at her nose. "Sign that form and send it out already, Big Brother." She then reached into his back pocket and pulled out a wad of thick, folded paper before slapping it to his chest. "Go ahead." Kendall hesitated before lifting his hand to grab the paper.

"What's wrong?" Sydney asked.

"This could all be for nothing," Kendall said quietly before clearing his throat. "I mean, I could try out and not even make it. I would've left home, left the band, and left you"—he quickly kissed Riley's temple—"for nothing."

"Or you could make it," James replied. "We all know you can. They wanted you to try out for the All Stars back home, remember?" He gave a half smile. "It'll take time but…you gotta go big time right?"

"Yeah, opportunities like this only come once in a life time," Carlos added, catching on.

"So grab it with both hands and go big time," Logan concluded.

"Besides, a life without risks is a life unlived, right?" Katie asked.

"Right," Kendall replied. "Someone go find me a pen."

**THE END**

* * *

**A/N: **A part of me wishes I ended up doing this right after Big Time Dreams aired because then I think I would've really hit sentimental moments with this. I tried re-watching the finale as I wrote this, but nothing compares to that moment when you were actually watching Big Time Dreams's premiere. But, I still like it. Each chapter happened over a course of four days (one for each of the boys) and then this one was the fifth day.

I decided to write this to show you guys what Riles and I think would happen with BTR after the season ended, and to show you that the Jacksons would be continuing with their music, as well as to tell you what their fifth album name would be. (If you go to our profile and click on the link to DE CDs, you can find the "track listing" for the album.

I might even expand this into a full fic, too, but I'm not entirely sure just yet. If I did, it'd cover BTR moving on into hockey, solo career, the engagement, and medical school. I'm also kind of tempted to add "bonus chapters" from DE's point of view.

Thanks for reading this, guys and have a Happy New Year's Eve!

-Rhuben


End file.
